


40 Things That Tony Stark Is Not Allowed To Do

by Riverofwind25



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, somewhat cracky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-15 20:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/853752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riverofwind25/pseuds/Riverofwind25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>24. When a horse appears on TV, ask Loki if it's his type.</p>
            </blockquote>





	40 Things That Tony Stark Is Not Allowed To Do

**Author's Note:**

> My personal head-canon is that if Loki moved into the Tower, him and Tony would eventually get over the whole incident with Loki throwing Tony out the window, and become friends. Then they'd go on adventures and get into crazy situations, and Loki's mischievous ways would rub off on Tony. Enough of my ramblings. I do not own The Avengers, or any of the songs mentioned. Hope you enjoy!

40 Things Tony Stark Is Not Allowed To Do **  
**

By Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, Thor Odinson, Loki Laufeyson, Phil Coulson, and Nick Fury

1\. Sing "Thunderstruck" whenever Thor and Loki get in an argument.

2\. Put red food coloring paste inside the shower heads after the team watches a horror movie(Steve nearly had a heart attack).

3\. Give Bruce a blowjob in the kitchen using Nutella as flavoring.

4\. Wake Bruce in the morning by singing "You Shook Me All Night Long".

5\. Take Coulson's phone, and use it to sext Clint.

6\. Offer to show Bruce his "Iron Man" when the other Avengers are in earshot.

7\. Dress up as a sexy pirate on Halloween(It disturbs Thor, arouses Bruce, and amuses Loki).

8\. Pour a jar of glitter in front of a working fan.

9\. Send everybody invitations to an orgy in the briefing room.

10\. Suggest to Steve that he use "hammertime" as a safeword.

11\. Ask Steve questions about Thor's "Mjolnir".

12\. Show Steve Nicholas Sparks movies(It took him 20 minutes to stop crying after "The Notebook").

13\. Have Thor summon lightning when they're being swarmed by paparazzi(Actually, never mind, that one's allowed).

14\. Grope Bruce under the table during a briefing.

15\. Write "erotic friendfiction"(It makes Steve uncomfortable and gives Thor ideas).

16\. Bring up the Club Incident.

17\. Sing "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" when Natasha is around.

18\. Braid daisies into Thor's hair while he's sleeping.

19\. Have sex with Bruce in the kitchen.

20\. Have sex with Bruce on the couch.

21\. Have sex with Bruce in Thor's bed.

22\. Have sex with Bruce in Natasha's bed.

23\. Have sex with Bruce anywhere frequented by the other Avengers.

24\. When a horse appears on TV, ask Loki if it's his type.

25\. Sing "Feel Your Love Tonight" during breakfast while pointing at Bruce.

26\. Tell Nick his eye patch is sexy and ask to "feel his Fury".

27\. Give Clint fuzzy handcuffs for his birthday.

28.  When hanging out with Steve, to take a sip from a juice box, look off into the distance, and say "How about them dicks?"

29\. Carry a spray bottle and spritz Thor and Steve when they get handsy in public.

30\. Loudly lament over the fact that he can never have angry sex with Bruce.

31\. Hand out condoms to older trick-or-treaters on Halloween.

32\. Dress up as a sexy Santa at the Annual Avengers Christmas Party(Natasha will steal the costume the next day and burn it on the balcony after the presents are opened).

33\. Say "This is why we can't have nice things!" when Bruce hulks out.

34\. Sing "I don't want anybody else, when I think about you, I touch myself!" to Bruce while writhing suggestively in front of the other Avengers.

35\. Give Thor sex advice(Steve likes being able to walk).

36\. Bribe Darcy to get into a box, and give her to Loki for his birthday.

37\. Give anybody presents without the approval of at least one other Avenger.

38\. Give Bruce a lap dance at the dinner table.

39\. Write a song called "The Stark Spangled Banner" and sing it to Bruce.

40\. Attempt to ward off paparazzi with a crucifix.


End file.
